MY FIRST LITTLE BIG LOVE - #2: THAT'S TRUE LOVE

The following days were tough for me. I was struggling to concentrate myself on school and homework. My teachers and classmates had noticed that my mind "was up in space" and "I needed to come back to the Earth", as Avril Lavigne sang in "Sk8er Boy".

It was stronger than me. Israel had a big impact on me, or better, a charming Israeli boy had stolen my heart. For me this was incredible.

One night I was watching the sky full of stars from my bedroom's window, when a night butterfly came across me. I blew a kiss and I asked her: "Please, carry it all the way to Israel, it's for a boy named Roy" And she flew away. After that, I grabbed my secret diary and I drew a big red heart pierced by an arrow. In that heart I wrote two initals... J + R.

My mum had understood that something was not as it had to be, too. "What's up, darling? I hope you won't get offended, but I noticed that since we came back from Israel you changed a lot" "And how can I explain it to you, mom?" "It seems more like an answer from a teenager, not a child" "I'm not sure if I can talk about it to you" "Okay, I respect your decision" But then... I bursted into tears! "For the heaven's sake, why are you crying, Janet?" "I'm... I'm in love!" "In love?" "Yes, with Roy... Chanoch Nissany's son! Do you remember him?" "Yes, I do... he was very nice to you. You danced together, too!" "I have to find a system to see him again" "It's possible!" "And how?" "You will come to races with me, maybe he will be there with his father" I was really excited to the idea to see him again.

My dreams about Roy had various settings. Mostly I used to see him as a knight who rescued me from terrible dangers, or sometimes I had dreams in which he was wearing a kippah. I was in love for the first time and I was so excited and scared at the same time. Was I too young for saying I was "in love"? Maybe yes. Or maybe not. Once the school psychologist told that Cupid's Arrow can hit children too. Obviously it's not the kind of love experienced by adults, but it's a magical feeling which makes you happy.

That night at the Hilton Hotel my mum took a picture of Roy and me while we were hugging before going to dance. I printed it and I used to keep it among my diary's pages. Whenever I looked at it, for me it was like going back to the best evening of my life. It was therapeutic for me.